Loving The Idea Instead of Doing The Work

In a perfect world, if we want to transcend from mere averageness to a full-fledged celebrity status, we would have only two priorities in mind: First, to love the idea of becoming a billionaire living in a castle-like house, owning the finest designer watches, and having a physique that mimics a Roman gladiator. Second, to do the work that will help us reach that desired state. However, in our imperfect world, saturated with false hopes and unlimited entertainment, we typically only hang on to the idea itself without doing the work related to that idea.

The moment you became part of our current world, you became part of a system designed for marveling success and richness.

Everywhere you turn, you see people firmly attached to the notion of being better, richer, and more likable. People involved in the endless chase towards acquiring more money, more status and more fans. Hence, quite naturally, you, yourself, double-click on the same subscribe button.

• You love the idea of becoming successful.
• You love the idea of turning your soft and sluggish body into something strong and gigantic, so others can admire your massive muscles.
• And more recently… you love the idea of becoming the host of your own TV show where you talk about yourself and your desires, and millions of strangers will procrastinate their own tasks just to watch your face on the screen.

But as life unfolds and your dreams about becoming all of those things magnify, you also realize something extra: the idea of becoming richer, muscular, and/or famous requires tons of work.

If you have buckets of ambition, you might attempt to turn your idea from just a concept into an actual thing. If you have ambitious caregivers, you might even get a nice initial boost from them – encouraging you to never give up on your dreams and daily prompting you to keep going.

But if you feel ambitious only while you watch motivational videos on YouTube and if your parents are even more addicted to social media than you are, you’ll probably never try to work on your ideas.

Regardless of what your initial start in life is, sooner or later, you realize the truth: doing the work is not only hard, but it’s also quite unfun.

“It’s so tiresome and boring to go to the gym daily and eat broccoli. The world is full of entertaining things to do and delicious foods to try. I don’t want to miss out on all of these exciting things.”

That’s probably something you tell yourself after trying to work on your idea.

Or if it’s not, and if you fully commit to your grand ideas after coming up with them, feel free to stop reading. You’re doing a great job. Your momma is surely proud of you.

For the rest of the folks. The ones who endlessly talk about their dream projects but rarely do anything about them beyond sharing inspirational posts on social media, you might find the topic here somehow useful.

What’s The Concept of Loving The Idea Instead of Doing The Work?

I have been thinking about the concept of loving the idea versus doing the work for more than a year now.

It’s not something you’ll find on Wikipedia or in books. It’s my view of how we typically approach ideas. Or rather, how we typically wrongly approach ideas.

Loving the idea versus doing the work starts with a simple premise: we love the idea of becoming more, but we hate doing the work related to that desirable state.

A simple example is the following: you love the idea of losing the extra pounds of body fat that bend the approximate air mass and make you appear as you are a fat loser. Yet, when it’s time to get up and go to the gym, you always come up with some clever excuse not to go. “Too tired,” “too busy,” “Mercury’s in retrograde” – anything to avoid facing the fact that you’d rather rot on the couch than do a single squat.

I know a lot of people who love the idea instead of doing the work. I meet such people all the time.

Hell, I am even such a person myself. And, to be honest, I believe you are also a person obsessed with an idea without doing any work related to that idea. For you see…

We Love Loving The Idea

I love the idea of journaling. I love the concept of sitting on my desk, opening my brand-new journal, and pouring my soul on a blank piece of paper.

I fantasize about creating beautiful tables where I track my mood, tasks, and expenses. In reality, I just buy notebooks, and I don’t do much with them.

Well, this was until a couple of years ago. Eventually, I got angry at myself for just hoarding semi-expensive journals and not using them.

Why was I doing it?

While in the moment of purchase I said that I would totally enter a deep thinking phase and enthusiastically fill pages with profound thoughts, the reality was quite different. I was afraid that my toddler-level handwriting would ruin the soft, overpriced paper. But there was even more to it…

I was exposed to the perfect journals of people online. I have seen how a journal could look – meticulously crafted, artsy, like someone had too much time and not enough real problems. Sadly, since I didn’t have the capacity to make the same craftsmanship on dotted pages, nor did I have the time, the desire, or frankly, the will to learn how to turn my journal into a piece of art. I just had the idea of creating a near painting on my journal but didn’t do anything with that idea – it was just in my head.

And though I’ve managed to do something with the idea of journaling – I’ve eventually amassed a collection of journals full of imperfect writing. I have plenty of other ideas in my head that remain dormant.

For instance, I love the idea of owning a house. A relatively small house in a small village somewhere near the forest. I imagine waking up in the morning, making a cup of coffee on a hot stove, and going outside to write while I enthusiastically wait for the sunrise. In my head, the idea of owning a house like that seems magical. Yet, the more I think about it, the more reasons I find not to have a house.

Owning a house not only requires a lot of money to get the house, but also a lot of money to maintain the house. Maintenance costs, repairs, property taxes, and let’s not forget the endless list of chores – mowing the lawn, scrubbing the floors, fixing the random crap that keeps breaking. But the real soul-crusher? The commute. Even if I fully embrace the remote work life, I’m still chained to my car, driving my kid to school, judo, soccer practice, piano lessons, or whatever extracurricular obsession he picks next.

In the future, I will probably have a house, who knows. But at least this second-order thinking somehow convinces me that I don’t need to have a house right now. Thus, I don’t feel shitty about not making this particular idea a reality. Yet, there are other unrealized ideas that ignite dissatisfaction in my life.

Why Loving The Idea of Something Can Be a Problem

How many of you love the idea of owning a dog, but realize that owning a pet of any kind is a responsible and actually quite laborious task?

Well, I am such a person. However, my wife just stops at the first part… the idea of owning a dog.

She wants to get a dog. I tell her that I’m fine as long as she takes care of it, but then the conversation stops, and I’m guilty.

I have nothing against a warm, fuzzy four-legged creature walking around and looking adorable, but I do have something against having to walk it outside a couple of times per day. (Probably it will work if we move to a house near the woods? Well, let’s say that these ideas are all work in progress.)

When we love the idea of something without considering the consequences, two things can happen that can lead to negative outcomes:

1. We might actualize the idea and then regret it.
2. We might never actualize the idea and also regret it.

Let’s start with the first concept:

Actualizing an Idea Can Lead to Regret

Say that you are fantasizing about getting a dog, and you eventually do get one. Say that the dog is really adorable. Ah, it is so sweet, cozy, and heartwarming to go home after a long day at the office and be greeted with a furry paw and a face lick.

But a few days, weeks, or months later, you start to feel exhausted from this repeated cycle. It turns out that you’re pretty lazy, and you want to get back to your usual lifestyle where you simply lounge and read/watch TV for the majority of the weekend. What do you do?

Getting rid of the dog will seem like a cruel thing to do. You took responsibility for a living being, and now you are unwilling to meet that responsibility. What, are you not human? Are you such a horrible person to want to get rid of this living creature that you initially wanted?

All of these thoughts, which are quite valid, can cause a lot of extra problems.

You can start disliking your life as a whole, which can lead to all sorts of nasty things… resenting your dog, being violent towards your dog, and who knows what else.

Getting a dog is a commitment. Before doing it, it’s important to consider all the changes that might, could, or will happen in the many years that follow. You should be absolutely certain that you can and will factor your dog’s needs into any decisions.

But you didn’t, and now you’re stuck wondering how to play it out without everyone branding you as a dog-hating monster.

All of the above sound harsh, I know. But it can happen, and it actually does happen all the time. A simple Google search will reveal plenty of publications on the topic – like this one, here.

But enough about pets. I’d hate to upset the dog lovers who stumbled onto this by mistake, clutching their leashes and pitchforks, ready to bombard my inbox with hate mail about some made up story to prove a point.

Let’s shift gears and talk about something a bit more general. Something (probably) more desirable – or at least worldly recognized as desirable. Yes, I’m talking about the glorious aspiration of becoming a YouTube sensation.

For years, you’ve been planning on starting your own YouTube channel. You’ve read the best business books, amassed a small fortress of filming gear, and even had a fancy haircut to look fabulous when filming. It’s done. Your first video is now available for view.

What’s next?

Well, one video surely won’t turn you into a sensation. You need more. Thus, you hop on the never-ending “content creation” wagon.

If you are not filming, you are thinking about filming.

One month. Second month. Third month. You start to pile videos on your channel.

And sure, your online life might look good, but your offline life slowly deteriorates.

Your friends stop calling you because you’ve been ignoring them for the last couple of months. Your girlfriend ditches you because she wants to be in a relationship, not in some bizarre movie production. Your boss is plotting to kick your ass out of the firm because your performance is declining faster than a sinking ship. Life gets tough, but you get tougher. More videos are being produced now with tales of how the universe is conspiring against you.

As soon as you realize it, your whole life is one gigantic movie set. Everything you do is related to producing content to feed the algorithm.

The resolutions here are two:

1. You make it, and your success justifies all the shit you had to go through.
2. You don’t make it, and you feel like a colossal failure, totally regretting wasting all of this time and distancing yourself from a mass of people.

Does all of the above mean that you shouldn’t attempt anything in life?

Not at all. Because of…

Not Actualizing an Idea Can Lead to Regret

I’m sure my wife secretly hates me for not agreeing with her wish to get a dog. I am not in her head, and I can’t really tell what she is thinking. But if I have to guess, I’d say that she imagines a life with a dog as extremely enjoyable. And in her head, I’m probably the villain who prevents her from actualizing that dream state. All of this, will eventually lead to some sort of regret.

Because not fulfilling your deepest desires almost always causes dissatisfaction. At some point in the future, probably when you are old and when you realize that you don’t have much time left, your mind centers around what could have happened if you did/got/become the thing you always wanted.

How do you approach this?

Well, if you look online, you will quickly come across someone who talks about living a regret-free life. Someone energetically advocating for embracing the ideology of doing/having/owning everything you want.

“Life is too short to not accomplish all of your goals. Do what your heart tells you to do!”

Statements like these are no more than two feats apart online. Everyone is talking about looking back at your life on your deathbed and boldly saying, “I don’t regret anything! I did everything I wanted to do in my life. I can go with peace!”

What does all of this mean?

Does it mean that I should agree with my wife? Does it mean that we should get a dog?

Well, in theory, yes. (As every man knows, agreeing with your wife is rule number one in the How to Not Be Miserable in Marriage handbook and the second rule in the Manhood Manual, right after learning to apologize for things you didn’t even do.) But reality is a bit more complicated.

Let’s try a non-pet example so you don’t get hung up on that.

Let’s return to the idea of becoming a YouTube star.

It’s no secret that almost everyone who enjoys watching YouTube videos wants to become a YouTuber. Especially young boys and girls.

After all, the life of a YouTube person looks awesome. You sit in front of a camera, and you talk about your life. Your feelings. What frustrates you and what inspires you.

You have no boss. You work for yourself, and you (presumably) can do whatever you want to do.

If we put the idea of becoming a YouTuber under the deathbed test, it will mean that we should totally do it.

Yet, quite often, when we have the idea of doing something, we rarely consider the work needed for this something to become a reality.

The idea of becoming a YouTuber requires a ton of work. You not only have to figure out how to shoot videos, come up with interesting video scripts, perform well on camera, etc. But you also have to film daily in order to succeed in the saturated world of already impressively produced video content.

Can you do all of this?

And most importantly, can you do all of this consistently?

Are You Willing To Do The Work, or Do You Only Love The Idea?

There’s an important distinction you need to make when you have an idea of doing something.

It’s unsexy.

It’s boring.

And it won’t lead to a ton of likes on social media.

It falls into the category of things everybody sort of knows, but nobody is willing to talk openly about.

What is it?

It’s asking yourself a simple question:

“Am I willing to do the work related to this idea?”

And not just do the work once, but commit to the idea for the foreseeable future.

Of course, a lot of people will enthusiastically say yes.

“Hell yes, I want to become a YouTuber! Quit my soul-crushing, 9-to-5 hamster wheel job, and show the world how fascinating I am.”

They shout this in their empty one-bedroom condo and go to the nearest store to buy filming equipment they can’t actually afford.

Next, they subscribe to an online course about storytelling and, of course, start to consume even more videos on the topic of making videos.

Why do they start with these steps instead of filming their first video with the equipment they already have?

On the surface, it makes sense to acquire more information and/or stuff about your idea.

You need gear to shoot videos. You probably need guidance on how to film. But in reality, people tend to focus on consuming stuff related to their ideas because it’s easier.

It looks like you are making progress, but our minds have a strange way of making unimportant things look important.

After all, buying a cool-looking camera that costs $10k feels exciting and sexy. Trying to produce my first awkward video on my $400 smartphone, not so much.

But which one of the two actually makes progress towards my idea of becoming a video person?

It’s a rhetorical question.

Having an idea of doing something is the bare minimum. As a modern person who consumes content online, I bet you have ideas about doing something great with your life at least 100 times a day.

Good for you, but what do you do to turn all of these ideas into reality?

Don’t say that you’ve just enrolled in a course or that you’ve just purchased a book on a topic related to your idea.

That’s just an excuse for not doing the work.

Your idea will become reality only if you dip your hands in the dirt.

All of this brings me to…

What Are You Willing To Give Up For Your Idea?

The question I mentioned above is just an appetizer.

I refer to this one: “Am I willing to do the work related to this idea?”

You should absolutely commit to the idea. But there is one extra question you need to ask yourself – even more important than the first.

It’s the following:

“What am I willing to give up for my idea?”

Most people never consider this question. And that’s exactly why most people only have ideas.

Let me explain…

I don’t know you, but I’m pretty sure that your life is already pretty busy.

And as we already concluded, to get to your idea, you’d have to do certain things. But to do these things, you need time. To make time, you’d have to stop doing some of the things you’re already doing.

So, what are you willing to give up to turn your idea into something tangible? What are you going to stop doing, so you can start doing the things that are going to help you make your idea a reality?

The idea of becoming a YouTuber won’t magically edit and upload itself. No amount of watching videos about making videos will help you make your own videos. And furthermore, your last video won’t produce your next video.

Thinking about giving up something you’re already doing for something else is a good way to see what the stakes are. What does it take to turn a rough idea into something with substance.

Yet, it’s only a starting point.

I can get an expensive leather-bound, guru-approved journal and assure myself that I’ll stop wasting my time on social media in order to make time for writing scripts for my videos. I can enthusiastically declare that I will quit watching short videos, so I can make time for creating my own videos. Yet, in the moment of doing the work, I can regress to my old habits of excessive consumption.

“What, so you’re saying that it’s impossible to turn an idea into reality?”

No.

Not at all. It is possible.

But it’s always way harder than you initially thought.

When we have an idea of doing something, we commonly enter a dream-like state where we solely focus on the outcome. The moment where we are already famous. Already successful. Already happy. We skip ahead and avoid thinking about all the work that needs to be done for that idea to become a reality.

That’s why we are full of ideas about having a fulfilling life, but our life remains unfulfilling. We focus only on the idea instead of doing the work related to that idea.

It’s one thing to have an idea about doing something. It’s quite another to do the consistent, mundane, no-shortcuts work related to the idea itself.

Some Closing Thoughts

“Ok, we can get a dog, but you’d have to get up in the morning to take him/her out before going to work.”

My wife didn’t like the answer. She’s not a morning person. And she wasn’t willing to give up her sleep to do the work related to her idea of owning a dog.

I told her all of this. She wasn’t particularly thrilled by my reply. I was honest. But probably that was the problem, I was too honest.

It’s great to have ideas. But not all ideas need to be executed.

I hope that with the above I don’t only mean ideas about starting a business, having better habits, or writing that novel you’re sure would be a bestseller, but also ideas about a certain type of lifestyle.

Online, and especially on social media, for example, you can quickly adopt the idea of becoming a so-called airline Influencer. A person who travels the world for a living.

But do you really want to switch countries every couple of months? Pack, unpack. Check in, check out. Spend hours at airports and hundreds of hours trying to convince a bunch of strangers online that your nomad lifestyle is worth a try.

Personally, no. I don’t think so.

I know myself well enough to know that I love stability and a slower type of living. I’m leaving this type of “adventurous” lifestyle to the young – or not that young – people who love to travel and show off.

But what about the ideas you want to materialize?

Well, on paper, it sounds incredible simple:

Focus on doing the work related to your idea, not just romanticize about the idea itself.

By default, we’ll endlessly discuss our ideas with others. We’ll try to appear as we are doing something, but we typically won’t do anything.

That’s sadly our normal behavior. We want the gains without putting in the work. Without the discomfort. Without the pain. But as you can sense, this won’t lead to anything. In particular, it won’t lead to your ideas materializing.

Ideas take effort. Ideas take time. Ideas need courage.

Don’t be that person who just talks but never starts anything. If you are that person, don’t be that person anymore. This is what makes people hate being around you. This is what makes you hate being around yourself.

“Preparing to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Scheduling time to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Telling people you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Fantasizing about all of the adoration you’ll receive once you do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Reading about how to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Reading about how other people did the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Reading this essay isn’t doing the thing.

The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.”

Shachaf Rodberg