Why Social Media is Toxic?

If you’re outside. In the forest. Enjoying the beautiful scenery. Exploring paths and looking under rocks. But if you don’t share online what you’re seeing. Did you really have the experience?

The online wasteland we collectively call social media will unapologetically corrupt your life. It will destroy your ability to focus by indulging you in frictionless and hollow engagements if you don’t stop for a moment and define the real reasons you use the said platforms.

That’s one hell of an introduction leading to a single statement that I’m sure you’ve all heard before:

Social media is toxic!

But social media is toxic not because it steals our personal data – at least that’s not the only reason. It’s bad because it steals our attention and convinces us that our virtual life is much more important than our real life.

What started as an innocent act to connect with our friends has now turned into an unstoppable business model that controls our lives.

The worst part?

We don’t even think that we’re locked inside a virtual cage. We scroll through the life of others, thinking we are having a great time and living a great life, while our actual minutes on the planet are slowly vanishing into the dark abyss of nothingness.

How Social Media Platforms Cover Up Their Flaws

When social media giants talk about their products, they speak as if they are doing us all a favor.

Sure, there are definitely benefits. For example, we can easily connect with our friends in a way that was unthinkable 20 years ago, we discover information much faster, we communicate more efficiently by exchanging memes.

And yet, if not properly managed – which is exactly what happens – social media eventually becomes a beacon that radiates corrupt thoughts and prevents us from completing our projects on time.

And though used by billions, if we look closely, we can identify two main groups of people currently living online:

The minds of the first group are hijacked by the narratives circulating in the online space. They passionately participate in the virtual loops. Fiercely maintain their avatars, so they can prove their self-worth to others.

For these folks, social media is more than a way of living. It’s life itself. As if the real world is just some deserted place used only as decor for their virtual identities.

The other camp we can portray as the lords of the towns. The folks who are using social media in a very deliberate matter. Namely, to capture the attention of the unsuspecting online citizens. But they don’t do it primarily to help people. They use “helping” and “resourcefulness” as a tool to sell more of their “proven” methods.

These people, that we have collectively called influencers, say the right things in the right way. They present themselves as wise-ass sages that have all the answers. Using the right pictures and heavily distributing propaganda to attract an even bigger audience of emotionally damaged viewers looking for solutions to their personal problems with the ultimate goal to tap into their wallets.

But there is also a third camp.

Those who don’t see social media as an escape from reality. Participants in this group don’t feel the need to prove their worth to others by deliberately making their apartments, vacations, and life in general seem better than they actually are.

These people simply see social media as a tool that can be used for their own creative endeavors. Like a hammer sitting inside your toolbox when something needs banging.

If you’re tired of this itchy feeling. The constant urge to plug your brain into the endless feed of memes and status updates. But if you’re somehow unable to escape the pull towards the virtual oasis. Then, well, let me share with you my experience with social media…

The Benefits of Unplugging from The Toxic Social Media

A couple of years ago, in 2018, I made a drastic decision.

I decided to delete all of my social media posts on Instagram and Twitter. I spend a week unfollowing everyone I know, or pretending to know, on Facebook. Then, I stopped posting about what’s happening in my life.¹

Consequently, based on the just described activities, my urge to browse through the perfect life of others as a way to prevent myself from thinking about my own unexciting life lowered significantly.

I still keep my accounts active for reasons I’ll eventually explain. But, finally, I no longer spend hours a day looking at pictures, updating statuses, and trying to persuade my circle of friends that my life is way better than what it actually is.

Simply put, I stopped looking at what others do with their lives and focused on what I wanted to do with my life.

Some of my friends thought I’m crazy. Others, warned that it was a temporary thing and that I’ll quickly return to my old way of living – commanding my finger to scroll through the infinitive pool of statuses. Third, still don’t know that I don’t see anything when I occasionally visit Facebook. It’s kind of funny, actually. When we meet, they talk in a way that I’m supposed to know what’s happening in their life because they’ve shared it online.

Anyhow…

None of them, however, have asked me why I did it and was leaving social media impactful for my life in general.

If you’re wondering, yes, it was.

It’s weird to say, but leaving social media wasn’t easy at first. I felt emptiness. Like I left the party of the world and that I’m all by myself now. An agonizing feeling of boredom was crippling my brain every time I had to wait in line. My mind was switching between questions like: “What should I do now?”, “What should I look at?”, “What should I do with my hands?” It was like a part of my body was missing.

But after a while, it became apparent: Quitting social media was one of the best decisions in my life.

Not only do I now feel calmer and more focused. But not doing social media gave me the time and space in my life to pursue what I really wanted to do: reading and writing.

Eventually, it turned out that the part of my body that left when I stopped fighting for online attention was a part that I never needed in the first place.

If you currently think that it’s impossible to thrive in our hectic, information-heavy world without a social media account. But if you’re equally depressed when consuming content in the said channels. I’m positive that quitting social media will allow you to regain part of your reasoning abilities.

• Yes, I know it’s going to be hard.
• Yes, you’ll be itching for that dopamine hit every five seconds.
• Yes, waiting in line without mindless scrolling will feel like torture.
• Yes, you’ll miss the constant validation from random likes and comments.
• Yes, your friends will think you’ve gone full caveman for not knowing their every move.

Yet, despite these apparent downsides, it’s going to be worth it.

In the words that follow, I’ll show you not only why social media is sabotaging you (plus how to use it better). But I’ll also express why not controlling your social media usage should be considered offensive to your life as a whole.

I’ll show you how the evil channels are specifically designed to corrupt our thinking and prevent us from doing anything worthy; I’ll teach you how to respect your time, build healthy boundaries with your online persona, stop organizing your life around a nonexistent virtual life, and instead, aid you in focusing on living your real life.

Above all, the goal is to alter your perspective in relation to how you behave and think about social media.

Help you transition from using social media as a tool to escape reality to start using it mindfully, so you can face and experience reality.

That’s sounds cool but it begs the question: How can we do this?

Our journey begins with a short explanation of why social media is toxic. What in social media creates anxiety in our behaviors and a suggestion of an alternative way to maneuver online.

Why Social Media Is Toxic?

Social media platform are harmful in many ways, but for the sake of brevity, we’re going to explore only three reasons:

1. Social Media Is All-Consuming

Feeling totally overwhelmed when you open your favorite picture-sharing app?

There is a reason for that.

Everything there looks amazing, but nobody is happy.

After all, why would you spend half of your day and exhaust the storage space of your phone taking a ton of pictures to eventually share only a single “perfect” photo with a catchy caption produced by a copywriter if you are satisfied with your life?

Conversely, if you’re the type of person who only scrolls online, without ever sharing anything. Why would you find joy in watching what others do, what others experience instead of having real tangible experiences on your own?

We humans used to enjoy a casual walk in the park or a quiet evening with our closest friends. Now, we don’t enjoy doing anything unless it has the potential of becoming an online update that presents our persona in a way others can only look upon with envy.

But is this sustainable?

For how long I can force myself to create posts about my life where seemingly everything is magnificent?

This so-called production pressure steams from the expectations from our peers to present how our lives unfolds. Adolescents and young adults, in particular, feel this pressure due to their heightened engagement in social media and the importance of maintaining social relationships online.

But there is one more stress point: availability pressure.

If you are not the type of person who is engaged in the rat race of showcasing his awesomeness online, you probably feel obligated to be continuously accessible and ready to engage in social media interactions. Plainly, you feel compelled to be responsive when other people share memories or message you. If you delay your reply, not only will others wonder what’s going on, but you will feel that you are letting them down, which can lead to declined friendship.

Persistent production and availability pressures will not only make you struggle to balance between your online presence and your offline activities. These also negatively impact your overall well-being.²

2. Social Media Acts As a Savior

Social media channels say that they want to connect people and allow them to thrive but like any other business, they focus on profits, not on people.

By aiming at our natural flaws, social media websites are able to hook us and place us into their inescapable mazes of self-replenishing content while extracting personal data and deteriorating our attention. Unknowingly, we turn into addicts without even realizing that we’re hooked.

3. Social Media Taps Into Our Basic Human Needs

Our addiction to social media originates from our primitive human desires.

The people who created these platforms know exactly what emotional triggers to press to keep us engaged and ever participating. The mix of psychological tricks presented in an enjoyable and frictionless way takes away our control. Therefore, instead of being in charge of our own behavior, impulsivity takes control and you end up engaged in unplanned and even reckless actions.

Social media positions itself as a way to de-stress, avoid boredom, communicate with others, to create the life we want, but are too lazy to actually create.³

Thus, we start to associate certain feelings when we use the platform.

For example, we might feel a sense of ease and comfort when we browse through the endless stream of funny memes and videos. The more we use social media, the more comfortable we feel. Eventually, though, we feel comfortable only when we are using the platform because our real life starts to collapse.

After all, when we are watching short clips and engaging in comments, life feels awesome. Life feels like it’s full of opportunities and endless possibilities. However, once we lock the screen and walk around, the excitement quickly vanishes because we are hit by the sober kick of reality.

We see that things aren’t that great. We realize that if we want to make a positive change, start an online business, change bad habits with good ones, enjoy having good habits, it will take time, work, and more than just broadcasting awesomeness into the online void.

Unwilling to postpone pleasure and delay gratification, we return to the virtual land of ease and comfort.

The latter is preventing us from actually experiencing life. Only being part of a non-existent world of fake perfect that undermines the real image of reality.

Some Closing Thoughts

Wait, is this it?

Yes, for now!

In an age where the allure of virtual validation often supersedes genuine human connection, it’s all too easy to lose ourselves in the endless scroll of social media.

Yet, not all hope is lost.

Like any other website online, social media can be leveraged and used.

You don’t necessarily have to delete your social media to live a calmer life online and offline. The important thing is to reflect on why you are using these toxic channels. Gain clarity to gain wisdom. Figure out, by self-analysis, what internal force is persuading you to obsessively check your phone every five minutes. After the reflection, you will know your real wants and needs and be more mindful when surfing online.

In the next part of this series, we’ll explore what’s the ultimate purpose of social media and how we can start mapping our way out of the wasteful platforms. Go to part two of the series now.

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Footnotes:

1. If you are interested in the full story, check this post on Why I Quit Social Media And What Made Me Quit
2. Stevic, A. Under Pressure? Longitudinal Relationships between Different Types of Social Media Use, Digital Pressure, and Life Satisfaction. Social Media + Society, 10(1). Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/20563051241239282
3. Based on the Uses and gratifications theory developed in the 1940s, people use media for these reasons: 1) To be informed or educated; 2) To identify with characters of the situation in the media environment; 3) Simple entertainment; 4) Enhance social interaction; 5)Escape from the stresses of daily life