I don’t know you personally, but I’m sure you suck. But to make you feel a bit better, I will share with you a secret: I suck as well.
Don’t worry, we all suck.
We are all addicted to the evil social media. We all possess a list of bad habits that make life miserable. We all pursue external validation. Plus, of course, we are all a victim of the procrastination habit.
Everyone online is trying to convince you that it’s all going to be all right and that things will eventually be OK.
But guess what?
Things often don’t work out the way you wanted or the way you planned. Why? Because you suck a lot of the time during the day.
For instance, last week I was angry at my girl because I wasn’t able to find my favorite black t-shirt. We had a fight. She won (like always). I felt miserable afterward for giving her a hard time. She told me that I suck. I didn’t agree at first but after a few hours, I understood she was right. I did suck.
Not that I want to be cynical, but we all need to hear the truth. A few thousand years ago, Lao Tzu said it himself:
“Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful.” Lao Tzu
A lot of times our best friends won’t tell us that we did something wrong to avoid an argument. They think they’re protecting us. They don’t want to hurt our feelings.
But this approach is wrong in many ways.
Since I’m not your friend, yet, I can say whatever I want. And in this article, I will share with you the most common reasons why you and I suck.
Starting with the most common explanation:
You Suck Because You Don’t Know That You Suck
Sucking by not knowing that you suck is the most frequent reason a lot of people suck.
Kind of a mindfuck but it is true. People who think that are awesome, are usually not so awesome.
To give you an idea, let me ask you this: Do you have a friend who is always sharing how awesome his life is?
When you see him/her. You’ll often hear a variation of the following: “Hey! Yeah, happy to see you, too. So, I bought a new phone, a new car, a new pair of sunglasses, and earlier today I found $150 dollars cash. Can you believe it!”
These people are usually egomaniacs and will often talk primarily about themselves. Always looking for a way to steal the spotlight of the conversation and explain in great length how everything around them is awesome. Perfect. F*cking amazing.
However, this is rarely true.
They brag about everything because they are trying to cover something that’s happening in the background. Something that they want to hide or they are simply talking nonsense so they can distract their mind even for a bit.
Probably they have a problem at home.
Probably they are in existential crisis.
Probably they have a small penis.
Or, simply they didn’t get the desired amount of likes for the picture they shared last on social media.
The reason they suck is obvious, no one ultimately likes such people. People who brag all the time. Such who are too involved in themselves and never acknowledge the existence of the people around them.
You can’t really
You Suck Because You Care Too Much
I know a lot of people who are ultra sensitive and they will feel hurt no matter what you say or do.
A lot of times in the past, I felt the same.
I felt miserable by a single comment someone in my surroundings did towards me: “You’ve gained weight”; “You got really drunk last night”; “The t-shirt you’re wearing doesn’t match your shoes”; “Your articles suck”.
Sometimes a simple line from someone stuck inside my head for months. I felt miserable for days. My self-worth suffered. And this eventually impacted how I behave and think – my motivation dropped and I my thinking was clouded by a dim cloud.
If you’re new at doing something you will surely suck in the beginning. If someone comments on your work as “not good”, and if you give a damn about your work, you will surely perish emotionally. Which, sadly, can lead to quitting what you do.
Caring too much is bad for a lot of reasons, the main two being falling into a depressive state and giving too much attention to what other people think about you.
But think about it, do you really need to trouble your mind about the way someone else thinks about you – all the time?
If someone doesn’t like you, that’s his opinion. Do you have to let it consume your whole being?
You Suck Because You’re Addicted To Something
We’re all addicted to something or someone.
Most common scenarios
These addictions are costing us money and precious time. A lot of the time they can even be the reason for a relationship to end.
Let me give you a brief example: If you’re obsessed with a girl, you will constantly call her and text her. Hell, you might as well go as far as sending her pictures of your naked body via the post office. However, if she doesn’t share your feelings. Or if she finds that your actions are suffocating her, she will begin to hate you. She might as well get a restraining order against you.
However, neither of these two are bringing any permanent positive vibes into our lives.
It’s quite the contrary. Think about it for a bit:
The more you text people online the more hooked you’ll become to the system. You’ll spend more time online chatting, involved in meaningless conversations.
It’s the same with clothes and other fancy gadgets. The more stuff you buy the more you’ll want to buy because there will be always something missing to complete the “perfect outfit” or the “perfect home”.
A lot of the times you don’t consider having an addiction of any sort. But that’s precisely why you suck.
You Suck Because You Don’t Know What To Do With Your Time
What do you do when you’re standing in line or you’re inside an elevator?
You check your phone, right?
It’s easy. It’s fun. It’s convenient. It’s the best tool to waste time when you have time to waste.
But what are you really doing in social media or in the times when you’re not sleeping or working?
You don’t know!
Most probably you don’t have an idea about your future or about what you really want to become when you grow up.
People consider having a day job and a sexy phone as the ultimate meaning of life.
But the world is a bit larger than what’s inside the screen of your phone.
When asked: “what do you like or what you want to achieve” people a lot of times fail to give an adequate answer.
You Suck Because You Complain All The Time
“I don’t have enough time to start a business“; “I’m too tired to go to the GYM today”; “My boss is not paying me enough money”; “I failed on the test because last night I had a bad dream”.
The moment you begin to explain to someone why you didn’t do something is the moment they begin to lose faith in you.
If a task was assigned to you and you failed to do it. No one cares why you didn’t do it. The important thing is that you failed to deliver.
People love to complain and explain in tremendous detail why they didn’t achieve something or why they are not doing what they are supposed to be doing – e.g., changing bad habits with good ones.
If you tell me that you didn’t have the time to read your book after work because you are working in front of a computer throughout the whole day. I won’t feel sympathy. This will simply tell me that you are lazy and that you don’t really want to be a person who reads.
You Suck Because You Don’t Believe In Yourself
Being confident and believing in your skills is not a selfish act, it’s a necessity.
The most common reason people can’t find a spouse is their lack of confidence. But that’s just part of what it means to lack faith in yourself.
People can literally “smell” when you don’t believe in yourself. When you don’t trust your instincts.
This will cause you a lot of physical and emotional pain.
You will probably never get a raise, partner who really loves you,
You Suck Because You’re Not Self-aware
Here’s how the different people will understand this article:
- People who are self-aware: “Yes, this guy has a point. I do suck at some things. Guess I need to figure out a way to overcome them.”
- People who are NOT self-aware: “F*ck you Ivaylo. I don’t suck. I’m awesome.”
People who are self-aware and knowledgeable about their skills will identify areas where they have gaps in their knowledge and seek opportunities to learn and grow
People who are living in the mist of their own perfection will loudly express their disagreement in the comments or simply close this site and never return.
The problem is obvious, the ones who are not aware that they lack some skills will never learn them.
Like alcoholics: If you don’t admit to yourself that you have a problem with alcohol you will never do something to solve this. In your mind, everything seems fine.
You Suck Because You’re Not Trying
The life of a lot of people revolves around several things: buying things, resting, going on vacation…
We can actually summarize them in one expression: feeling good.
Naturally, the human body and mind want to feel good, safe. We do everything possible to avoid pain and move closer to pleasure.
However, contrary to all understandings, our willingness to feel good is not going to get us closer to what we really want:
Back in the days, when people had to hunt their food they went to the liar’s den.
They didn’t feel comfortable going, obviously. There was a chance for a fatal ending. Still, they did it because they had to eat.
But a lot of people suck at this.
Why? Because staying at home and complaining about the weather and about the current president is a lot easier.
Some Closing Thoughts
“Wait, is that all? You told us that we all suck and you’re going to leave us like that?”
Well, kind of.
In reality, we all suck and there isn’t a cure. There is no such thing as not sucking. Or being perfect.
Actually, trying to be awesome and striving for perfection is the wrong path – I think, at least. You will never be perfect.
Rather, you need to accept that you lack some skills and that you’re completely illiterate about others.
No matter what you do, you will surely suck at something.
But that’s OK.
Nobody’s perfect. That’s part of being human.
What you can do, is to understand what skills you lack that are important for your life to live a good life and strive to improve in that direction. Even though you will never be perfect, you will be better than before.
Do yourself a favor:
Join Going Further: A 13-day email series on how to keep progressing in a world tirelessly pushing toward regression. Great for people who feel stuck in the endless loop of not doing.