Think back to the last New Year’s resolution you passionately captured in a notebook. Or, the last time you declared that you’d stop stuffing your fridge – and body – with fat. How did it go?
Meet Jack.
Jack is obsessed with self-improvement.
He follows the most prestigious gurus on the topic online.
He’s a regular library visitor.
He meditates daily.
He reads blogs. Watches videos. Purchases self-discipline courses. Takes notes. Knows all about the allegory of the cave by Plato – he even likes to think that he made it out of the cave. In addition, he’s an active participant in an online community of like-minded people where achieving greatness is enthusiastically discussed.
Last I heard, he’s the main organizer of a local meetup on the topic of “being your best self”.
Despite all of these efforts, he’s struggling.
He says he wants to work out. But some days he finds it almost impossible to get up from his couch and go to the gym.
He says he wants to prepare a green smoothie based on a recipe from a Tibetan YouTube creator. But some days, opting for a donut is just way easier – and cheaper.
He says he wants to be financially free. But regularly updating his Instagram with “inspiring” content requires frequent visits to the mall for new outfits, gadgets, and other accessories – after all, you need to showcase to others that you are winning in life even before you are actually winning in life.
Do you happen to know Jack?
I know a lot of Jacks. A lot of people that are exactly like Jack.
I also know that I often act just like Jack.
I write, read, and know a lot on the topic of self-discipline and self-improvement. However, I repeatedly fail to meet my high expectations.
Why Do We Struggle With Self-Discipline?
We all wish we had more self-discipline. But we all struggle with controlling ourselves.
Why is that?
In short, we are constantly in situations where what we want to do and what we feel we should do are in conflict.
Hey there, sorry to interrupt…
Since you’ve come this far, it seems that you are passionate about pursuing depth over distraction. I am too! And while what I’m about to say next probably won’t quite excite you, I have to say it…
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- This desire of ours is heavily related to the time inconsistency problem.
- I share a more intimate story in relation to the concept of being unable to let go of your bad habits. You can check it out here.
- The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday is a great book discussing how to deal with hardship.
- Siegel, J.Z., Mathys, C., Rutledge, R.B. et al. Beliefs about bad people are volatile. Nat Hum Behav 2, 750–756 (2018). Available at: https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-018-0425-1
- Lapka, S.P. et al. ‘Determined yet dehumanized: People higher in self-control are seen as more robotic’, Social Psychological and Personality Science, 14(2), pp. 117–129. Available at: doi:10.1177/19485506221093109
- I have been aware of this fact ever since I realized the difference between motivation and discipline.
