From an evolutionary perspective, we’re poorly equipped to navigate our temptation-rich world. Our brains are conditioned to constantly seek ways to satisfy our appetite, desires, and whims. That’s why we turn to self-discipline for help. When we feel that we don’t have complete control over our lives, we strive to strengthen our willpower muscles in order to handle the chaotic thoughts craving immediate pleasures. But is self-discipline as good as it seems?
Well, yes. From a practical perspective, self-discipline is one of the best qualities a person can obtain to systemize his life so he can progress in life.
Yet, there is something rarely mentioned… The dark side of self-discipline.
Despite being ranked as the number one quality on my personal board of skills one must have – and not only, it’s also internationally recognized as critical to have. Self-control comes pre-packaged with some downsides.
I know, that’s probably the last thing you expect to hear from a person who has written a bunch of articles on the topic of self-discipline and even has a course on the subject.
“What the f*ck, Ivaylo. I thought self-discipline is the go-to concept when my life is a complete disaster. Why now say that there are downsides in relation to self-control?”
Sorry to break it up to you kids. But yes, self-discipline does have a few cons.
Surely being disciplined has a lot of benefits, but the disadvantages are worth noting as well.
So, in this installment, I’m going to lay out the negative traits related to self-discipline.
Buckle up. It’s going to get rough.
How Can Self-Discipline Have a Downside?
When we think of self-discipline, we imagine a life where everything is perfectly organized. Like a skilled conductor of an orchestra, we have full control of all major aspects that should constitute a good life: we control our impulses, we successfully manage our finances, we exercise, we do our work on time, we rarely fall victim to the whims of society, our front yards and homes are always miraculously tidy and organized, etc.
And while being a self-disciplined person sounds like a go-to strategy for many, it gets complicated under the hood.
In a study published in 2022, the authors had an interesting hypothesis: people who have high self-control are perceived as rigid and robot-like. Thus, other people tend to avoid them.
Well, this turned out to be true.
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- Similarity hypothesis. The Decision Lab. Available at: https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/sociology/similarity-hypothesis
- Park, L. E., Ward, D. E., & Naragon-Gainey, K. It’s All About the Money (For Some): Consequences of Financially Contingent Self-Worth. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(5), 601-622. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167216689080
- Steven Asarch, M.M.I. Inside the rise of Nikocado avocado, the extreme-eating youtuber whose dramatic meltdowns have led to years of controversy and feuds, Business Insider. Available at: https://www.businessinsider.com/who-is-youtube-star-nikocado-avocado-2020-1
- Howard, M. How social media is impacting influencers’ mental health, Women’s Health. Available at: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a41946590/influencer-content-creation-hurting-mental-health/
- That’s one of the reasons I wrote the following: Against Normalcy: Why Being Normal Can Be Dangerous. While I received criticism for the piece. I also got quite a few comments from others who feel the same way.
- Loewenstein, G. (2018). Self-Control and Its Discontents: A Commentary on Duckworth, Milkman, and Laibson. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 19(3), 95-101. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100619828401
- Diggs-Brown, Barbara. Strategic Public Relations: Audience Focused Practice, p. 48. Available at: https://books.google.bg/books?id=7c0ycySng4YC
- The rise of processed foods in the United States. Available at: https://www.wildhealth.com/blog/everything-to-know-about-the-rise-of-processed-foods-in-the-united-states
- Car. Wikipedia. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car
